Battle of the sexes
Women are the superior sex......or are they?
Chris Lynch, Staff Writer
Women.
Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.
Or so the old saying goes. I guess it’s true. All men know
we can’t live without women. It’s spending time with them
that’s the tricky part.
For instance, I know women who crawl up into the bathroom sink
in order to put on their makeup. They literally crawl into the sink,
with their faces right up against the mirror. Hard to be with a
women who sits in your bathroom sink...
I know women who drive with their knees, one hand holding a hairbrush,
the other a cell phone, while totally engrossed in their image in
the rearview mirror. Going, say, 80...
Be careful what you say to women. Most times, what you say isn’t
what they hear. You say, “I’m going to meet Phillip at
Food Lion,” and she hears, “You’re cheating on me
with some sleazy tramp and you’re going right now to meet her
and probably run off somewhere.”
Women are suspicious. Don’t ever try to pull anything sneaky
because you’ll be discovered. Guaranteed. They won’t admit
it to your face, but they have an extra sense, something between
smell and touch, about which we men know nothing. The part of our
brain we reserve for athletic statistics, they reserve for skepticism
and doubt.
I’ve heard that women love to hear those special three little
words. You’re thinking “I love you,” but that would
be incorrect. What women really want to hear from men is simply,
“I was wrong.” If you don’t believe me, ask one ...
From the male point of view, it’s better to simply admit our
absolute ignorance about everything except professional football
and admit that all progress of the human race should be credited
to the female of our species.
Men are still the dominant species in this world and always will
be, but much like honeybees, we should content ourselves with just
“serving the queen.”
Never mind that the “queen” sits in a sink, drives with
her knees, and only wants to know what I’ve done wrong.
Article prepared for web by Joy Wheeler
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