Helpful hints for guys on V-Day

Spencer Huddleston, Charger Staff

On a newspaper staff comprised mainly of females, I recently found it necessary to provide insight on the male mind during Valentine’s Day.

Although it has been a well-kept secret among guys, I think I need to reveal the mysteries of our gender with excerpts from the sacred Valentine’s Day handbook:

• Rule Number 1: Never, Never, NEVER, even under severe cases of amnesia, forget Valentine's Day. If you do, go ahead and put your ad in the singles pages.
• Rule Number 312: Candy, good. Flowers, good. Underwear, bad. Any questions?
• Rule Number 751: If by any chance your lady drops a forty pound gift bag in your lap in exchange for the cheesy card you filled out at the stoplight, quickly reassure her she has more presents arriving in the mail.
• Rule Number 964: The Ladies Man will never serve as a romantic tear-jerker for you and your lady to watch together!
• Rule Number 1,002: If the bright pink T-shirt that is covered with those cute little heart message candies doesn't exactly fit your spring wardrobe, keep smiling and tell her how much you love it... Remember to keep the smile glued on all the way to the city dump.
• And finally, Rule Number 1,591: The gifts are important but nowhere near as important as your feelings, so let her know how much she means to you, and how every day is worth celebrating as long as she's around.

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